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Seerah episode 21: The Prophet Marries Khadijah June 14, 2014

Filed under: Seerah — visitor74 @ 12:27 am

— Muhammad (saw) would discourage the taking of loans. You can’t make money out of money. This is usury – Riba. This is forbidden in Islam.

  • Nothing wrong with investing your money for business ventures. This is called mudharabah.

— And there is nothing wrong in becoming rick. There’s even sahabah that are very rich. For example, Abdul Rahman Awf. He got so weatlthy that one, Abdul Rahman bin Awf’s (ra) business caravan arrived in Medina. This was after the death of the Prophet. His caravan line was so huge that the front camel was in one end of the border of Medina & the last camel was on the other end of the border (700 camels). The caravan was filled with goods from Bilad as-Sham to be sold in Medina

  • Aisha (ra) heard a lot of commotion & she saw the caravan. She asked someone who the caravan belonged to. Someone told her it belonged to Abdul Rahman bin Awf
  • Aisha went to Abdul Rahman bin Awf & congratulated him. She said to him, “Do you remember what the Prophet told you?”
    • The Prophet was once giving the good news of Paradise – he was congratulating the Jannati Sahabi, telling them, “You’re gonna go to Paradise. And YOU are going to Paradise.”
    • When the Prophet reached Abdul Rahman bin Awf, he said, “Abdul, you are going to Paradise, but you’re going to get left behind.”
    • Abdul Rahman bin Awf asks, “Why, O Rasullullah?”
      • Abdul Rahman bin Awf was one of the only two individuals behind whom the Prophet prayed, so he was an amazing man, let’s not forget that.
      • Prophet: “Because all the accounting of your wealth is going to lag you behind.”
  • Keeping this memory in mind, Aisha asked Abdul Rahman bin Awf, “Do you remember what the Prophet said?”
    • Hearing this, Abdul Rahman bin Awf became very teary-eyed. He was hit by her question. Immediately, he tells the people working for him to take all of his goods & give it to the Bayt al-Mal as sadaqah

— Muhammad was a businessman. He never gave advice and guidance on something he didn’t have experience in. He was credible on the issues he talked about (family, business, etc.). Sometimes, when someone advise you, you said to him: “it’s easy for you to say, you never experience what I had.” But not with our Prophet. He had experience with the things that he advised.

— There’s only the one time the Prophet recommended something out of his knowledge to the Sahaba was about farming.

  • He once asked the Sahaba, “Why do you cross-pollinate the date trees? Don’t do that. That’s sounds weird.”
  • When the Prophet tells you to stop, you stop. The Sahaba decide not to cross-pollinate that year
    • That year they had a terrible harvest
  • They go up to the Prophet, telling them of their poor harvest.
    • The Prophet: “I don’t know anything about farming. I just asked why you cross-pollinate. I thought it was weird. Go do what you’re supposed to do. You know what you’re doing.”

— Prophet would only give practical advice based on his experiences & what he knows

  • Especially in matters in business ethics – honesty & fairness
    • He’s not just shooting in dark, but he’s talking from a frame of reference, since he was a very successful businessman
  • He qualifies as Uswatul Hasanat – the good example.

— The Prophet established some form of income (through business) before getting married, so that he could support his family

  • Abu Talib once asked Muhammad, “Muhammad, you’re at the age of marriage. Wouldn’t you like to get married?”
    • Muhammad replied, “Yes, but first I need to have a source of income. I’m not working right now. How am I going to support my wife?”
  • This is from the sunnah of the Prophet – to have some source of finance to be able to support your spouse before getting married
    • This isn’t to say that you should become filthy rich & have $100,000 weddings and $50,000 mahrs
    • This is also not referring to the other opposite extreme – “I pray five times a day, I can get married now inshAllah. Both of us are gonna sit together & we’re gonna make du’a & Allah’s going to send down biryani from the sky to us.”

— Muhammad went on a business trip on behalf of Khadijah with her slave Maysara. She is very impressed with all the profit he brought back & considers marrying him. Her friend Nafisa asked Muhammad if he would be interested in marrying Khadijah, to which he said yes. Nafisa went to inform Khadijah of this.

  • Vast majority of seerah say that the brother & uncle of Khadijah oversaw the nikkah (marriage) of Muhammad & Khadijah.
  • A minority position says that the father of Khadijah, named Khuwaylid, oversaw his daughter’s marriage

— After both parties express mutual interest in marriage, Khadijah’s and Muhammad’s family meet before the official marriage proposal goes through

  • In Islam, a woman who has never been married before is primarily represented by one of her male guardians (wali). The wali speaks on her behalf & represents her. However, If a woman is a thayyib, a woman who has been married before, then she can represent herself & does not need a wali
    • Khadijah had already been married twice before (widowed both times) she married Muhammad
    • Most narrations say that Khadijah was 40 years old when she married Muhammad, but some seerah narrations say that Khadijah was in her mid-30s. There’s also a narration from Ibn Abbas that said that Khadijah was not a day older than 28 years old.
  • At the family gathering, where the official engagement is about to take place, Khadijah addresses Muhammad: “Oh son of my uncle (a term of respect & endearment – like sometimes you called a guy as ‘uncle’ as a respect, even though he’s not really your uncle), I am interested in marrying you because of how you maintain your relationships, and how you are the best of your people. You’re honest and have excellent character. You are honest in your speech. Therefore, I would like to propose to you.”
  • Muhammad then praises Khadijah as well. “You are the most honorable & dignified woman of the Quraysh.”

— Before the engagement, Muhammad speaks to his own uncles, asking them what they think of the proposal

  • They’re cool with it. They all leave together to the engagement
  • Hamza, Muhammad’s uncle & older milk brother, speaks on Muhammad’s behalf with Khadijah’s family
    • “We’ve come here with our son & nephew to marry your daughter Khadijah.”

— Details of Muhammad & Khadijah’s nikkah

  • Abu Talib addresses Khadijah’s family
    • “I want you to understand who this young man is. Yes, he’s very trustworthy & honest, but he’s very special at the same time. I want you to understand how much work and effort was put into protecting & raising him. His father died before he was born.  His mother, and his grandfather died and I raised him. When this nikkah goes through, you people will be receiving a treasure. I love him like my own son. He is a blessing.”
  • Some scholars in books of hadith & seerah mentioned that when Muhammad’s nikkah was taking place, the father of Khadijah, Khuwaylid, was heavily intoxicated
    • During the ceremony, Khuwaylid, being so drunk, was snapped out of reality. He looks around, & asks, “What’s going on over here?”
    • Someone replies, “It’s a party! There’s a celebration going over here.”
    • Khuwaylid asks, “Yeah, I see it’s a party, but why is there a party going on?”
    • “Your daughter got married to Muhammad.”
    • Khuwaylid is surprised. “Wait, what? What are you talking about? I don’t know about this marriage. I’m not okay with this. No one told me!”
    • “You were sitting here the whole time! You’re just drunk out of your mind.”
  • Khuwaylid starts causing a bit of commotion.
    • Others try to tell him that yes, he approved of the proposal and that he was just drunk. Khuwaylid continues to carry on the disruption at his daughter’s nikkah
    • Muhammad is already having a bit of difficulty with his father-in-law
  • Khuwaylid respects Muhammad & thinks he’s a great kid, but “Nobody asked me!” He didn’t believe the others when they said that he gave his blessing for the marriage
    • After throwing a bit of a fit, Khuwaylid gets over the initial shock
    • He then says, “Ok, here’s the compromise. If I agreed to this marriage, which I don’t remember, then of course Khadijah’s married, because I had given my permission. If I hadn’t given my permission for her marriage, and all you people are lying to me, then I give my permission now. Because I said so, now Khadijah’s married to Muhammad. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I SAID SO.”
  • Mahr that Muhammad offered Khadijah was 20 goats. Some narrations say 20 camels.
    • Respectable, modest mahr
    • Typically, in those days, weddings would bring 200 camels/goats.

— In a few narrations of seerah, it’s mentioned that the mahr of the Prophet (marriage gift to Khadijah) was 20 goats or 20 camels.

  • Muhammad is not a wealthy individual nor does he come from a wealthy family. Still, he’s a very respected & well-known person in Makkah because he’s from Banu Hashim – an elite family of Quraysh. Khadijah also comes from a similar high-standing family
    • When 2 elite families like this would unite, the mahr would generally be 200 or 300 goats or camels, even though to us, 20 goats/camels seem like a lot. Just remember that 20 goats was a respectable & modest amount
    • Israaf – to spend a little extra on something you need
    • Tabdeer – to spend without need at all (like having 8 cars for yourself)
  • Mahr should be a modest, respectable amount, according to sunnah of Prophet
  • There’s a hadith that the Prophet told someone to teach his wife Qur’an because he couldn’t afford mahr
    • But if you ARE in a position to give mahr, don’t be that stingy guy today who says, “Alright, I’ll teach her Surat Al-Ikhlas.”
  • When Muhammad’s cousin, Ali (son of Abu Talib), got married to Muhammad’s daughter Fatima, the Prophet told Ali to give his new wife 500 darahim (silver coins) as mahr, since it was within Ali’s means
    • 500 silver coins is like $5000 today

— Muhammad & Khadijah were married for 25 years in a monogamous marriage – he never marries anyone else. Some say the reason for this is because he was deeply in love with Khadijah. They had six children together – 2 sons and 4 daughters.

  • Al Qasem, first child
    • Muhammad loved to be called “Abul Qasem” – father of Qasem. He used to love being called Abul Qasem so much, that there’s a hadith by Imam Tirmidhi that the Sahaba used to discourage calling someone else Abul Qasem, even if they had a son named Qasem to honor the Prophet’s son or because they liked the name
    • Qasem died when he was a few years old (3-4). Some say he died when he was old enough to ride an animal (horse), probably 5-6, like the time when our child started to ride bicycle.
  • 4 daughters followed who lived to see Nubu’a (Prophethood) & they accepted Islam. The first 3 daughters passed away during Prophet’s lifetime
  • Zainab
    • She passed away from injuries while making Hijra, from being attacked (this is a bit different compared to what I’ve learnt, but just leave it here for a while)
  • Ruqayyah
    • She suffered from serious fever around Battle of Badr & ended up dying. She was married to Uthman al Afaan.
    • Prophet told his son-in-law, Uthman bin Afaan (who was getting ready to accompany the Prophet to Battle of Badr), to go back home & take care of his wife
    • After the battle, the Prophet gave Uthman a share of the spoils of Battle of Badr. The Prophet treats his son-in-law just as Uthman was present in the battle
  • Ummu Khulthum
    • She married Uthman after Ruqayyah passed away. That’s why Uthman is called Dhun-Nurayn, the Possessor of Two Lights (the Prophet’s daughters)
    • She also became very ill & passed away during the lifetime of the Prophet
    • The Prophet said that if he had anymore daughter to give, he would marries her to Uthman.
  • Fatimah
    • She came to see Prophet day before he passed away, noticed his dying pains. She said, “Look at my father, look at how much pain he goes through.”
    • Muhammad replied, “After today, your father will never suffer again.”
    • She was so overcome with grief & sorrow after the death of the Prophet, that she passed away 6 months after her father
  • Abdullah
    • Nicknames: At-tayyib (beautiful one), Tahir (pure one, clean one)
    • He passed away within days of his birth

— Muhammad had another son named Ibrahim, with his umm walad, Marya, who was previously a slave. There’s a status of a slave who bore her master’s child like Marya. We’ll get to her story later.

  • Ibrahim also passed away very young. He was 18 months old.
  • The Prophet was deeply stricken with grief at his son’s death. Even when he wasn’t actually sobbing & crying, the Prophet would just have tears streaming out of his eyes
    • He said at the time, “Allah has appointed a woman to nurse Ibrahim in Paradise, so that he is still taken care of.”

— Muhammad had a total of 7 children (6 with Khadijah)

  • The Prophet buried 6 out of 7 children in his lifetime. Only Fatimah outlived her father
  • He not only lived through the death of his wife, but also through the deaths of six of his children
    • When the Prophet talks about patience & grief, he knows what he’s talking about. He knew pain & suffering. He was the pillar of patience. That’s why his guidance is important

Link to the next episod

http://www.qalaminstitute.org/2012/05/seerah-life-of-the-prophet-the-prophet-marries-khadijah/

 

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